


through disarray

by helloearthlings



Category: King Falls AM (Podcast)
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Healing, M/M, Nightmares, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Relationships, Post-Canon, Psychological Trauma, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-06-24 01:18:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15619266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helloearthlings/pseuds/helloearthlings
Summary: “It’s me, it’s Sammy,” Sammy says, loud and clear, not bothering to whisper, because Jack doesn’t hear whispers, they don’t break through the fog. “We’re in King Falls, remember? At home – I bought a house, remember? I bought a house so you would have someplace to come back to that wasn’t my awful apartment. It’s just outside of town, and you like that it's not quite in the woods, that we're in the countryside but we still have neighbors. It has – it has blue curtains. And a big kitchen with a lot of windows, so much light gets in. There's a view of the mountains out the back porch. We have a porch, and, and a huge yard. You think we should get a dog – we always said we were gonna get a dog, remember?”Jack’s eyes are open now, but they’re glassy and he’s still breathing like he’s running a marathon, or running away from something inside his head more like. Sammy knows Jack can’t see him even though all the lights are on and blaring.Sammy reaches up to touch Jack’s face, rub the corners of his eyes so he’d know someone was there.





	through disarray

**Author's Note:**

> Anyway, the alternate title is 'Everyone Deals With Their Trauma Together' or maybe 'I Love Emily Potter' because I really do. I love all my kids and want them to be able to get through this together. Also, the world always needs more platonic sleepovers. Kind of OT4 if you squint.

Sammy wakes up to the sound of Jack’s screams.

He quickly rolls over, presses Jack down underneath him and Jack’s bloodcurdling, wordless shouts dissolve into labored breaths and crying out like a wounded animal left to die, and God, Sammy almost prefers the terrified screams to this, this complete sound of brokenness.

“Shh, shh,” Sammy presses his full weight against Jack, buries his head in Jack’s neck, and tries to calm him. “Hey, hey, it’s okay, you’re here, you’re with me –”

“ _Dark_ …” Jack whimpers, his hands clawing at Sammy’s back, and it hurts but it’s fine, Jack doesn’t know what he’s doing, he barely knows he’s here, and at least he’s using words this quickly, usually it takes longer for him to have any coherency after he wakes up like this.

Or wakes up, period. Jack doesn’t sleep without nightmares. During the day, Sammy can almost pretend that it’s the same, it’s fine, it’s better, Jack is the same Jack he’s always been just with more scar tissue and a hoarser voice, but at night it’s impossible because Jack screams himself through the dark.

“It’s me, it’s Sammy,” Sammy says, loud and clear, not bothering to whisper, because Jack doesn’t hear whispers, they don’t break through the fog. “We’re in King Falls, remember? At home – I bought a house, remember? I bought a house so you would have someplace to come back to that wasn’t my awful apartment. It’s just outside of town, and you like that it's not quite in the woods, that we're in the countryside but we still have neighbors. It has – it has blue curtains. And a big kitchen with a lot of windows, so much light gets in. There's a view of the mountains out the back porch. We have a porch, and, and a huge yard. You think we should get a dog – we always said we were gonna get a dog, remember?”

Jack’s eyes are open now, but they’re glassy and he’s still breathing like he’s running a marathon, or running away from something inside his head more like. Sammy knows Jack can’t see him even though all the lights are on and blaring.

Sammy reaches up to touch Jack’s face, rub the corners of his eyes so he’d know someone was there.

“Today we went out to dinner in Big Pine with Ben and Emily – remember?” Sammy says. “And that high school waiter kid asked where you got your gnarly scars. And you said you didn’t know people used the word gnarly anymore.”

Sammy almost grins at the memory. “And you and Ben did the challenge the restaurant was offering? You both got those awful-looking 72-ounce steaks because if you could finish them, you get them for free. And you had your own contest to see who could finish first because you feed off of each other’s competitiveness. You won and Ben moped about it for hours but you both felt like you had to vomit afterwards.”

Jack’s stopped struggling to get out from underneath Sammy, and Sammy slowly rolls off of him. It’s best to keep pressure on him, both in case he tries to bolt and because Jack once said it made him feel like he was real, that he wasn’t just floating in some ether somewhere.

“Are you with me now, baby?” Sammy asks, quieter now, reaching over to run a hand through Jack’s hair. Jack’s still staring up at the ceiling, eyes out of focus, so Sammy knows he’s not there quite yet, but it seems like the worst is behind him, at least for this hour. Maybe he’ll make it through the rest of the night and they’ll only have to repeat this in the morning, but that’s wishful thinking, this is the first time tonight and it usually happens at least four times –

Jack’s head shifts and Sammy starts to relax until he realizes that though Jack’s eyes have cleared up, there’s a crazed and horrified look in them now.

“Babe –” Sammy starts but not before Jack starts violently shaking.

“You’re not real, you’re not real,” Jack’s voice becomes more panicked by the second. “You’re not real, you’re not real, you’re not real –”

“Jack –” Sammy says, going for forceful and coming off very weak and scared himself, because usually if Sammy tells him what’s going on, narrates their day, then that roots Jack in today’s reality, if he can remember what they were doing when it was still light outside.

He tries to press himself down on top of Jack again, but Jack shoves him away with violent strength, and then before Sammy can react, Jack’s fist collides with the side of his head.

“ _Fuck!_ ’ Pain blooms from Sammy’s cheek and ear where Jack’s fist hit. He screws his eyes shut, tries not to cry, that’s the last thing he needs right now. He yells, louder than before, “Ben, get the fuck in here!”

Jack’s knocked Sammy out more than once, so there always needs to be back-up because if he gets violent and no one else is here, he’s not liable to be pulled back into reality for days. It’ll involve hospital visits, and being tied down and Sammy can’t do that again, he just can’t, he needs Jack to be okay during the day, it’s all they have right now, it’s all he has –

But when Sammy looks at Jack again through teary eyes, Jack’s eyes are clear and confused, looking around the room as if he doesn’t quite know where he is.

“Sammy?” Jack asks hoarsely. “Where – where am I?”

“Oh thank God,” Sammy sighs, the urge to cry somehow even greater now because he doesn’t think Jack’s ever snapped out of this on his own before, especially not after getting violent.

“Did I –?” Jack reaches out a hand toward Sammy’s face, and Sammy leans into the touch. He’s definitely going to bruise, but it’s fine, it’s worth it, Jack’s looking at him with concerned eyes and an open mouth. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to, I didn’t mean –”

“It’s okay,” Sammy whispers, letting his head fall onto Jack’s shoulder, and Jack’s arms go around him slowly as if he doesn’t quite know what to do with them yet. “It’s okay, it’s not your fault. You didn’t know what you were doing.”

“Where am I?” Jack whispers into Sammy’s shoulder. “Please, I – I don’t know where I am. Everything is so foggy. Are you real?”

“I’m real,” Sammy says, his voice coming out more than a little broken, and then he hears his bedroom door open and Ben’s creeping in with a look on his face of the utmost apprehension.

“Hey,” Ben says, hanging in the back of the room when he sees there’s no clear and present danger, just a confused looking Jack and Sammy with a purpling side of his face. “Are you –”

Emily appears behind Ben, and she makes immediate eye contact with Sammy, her eyes heavy and sympathetic on his own. Sammy sighs, touches Jack’s shoulder, but Jack barely responds to it anymore. Sammy can’t tell if he’s noticed that Ben and Emily are in the room yet.

“I don’t know,” Sammy says honestly, pulling Jack’s cheek toward him so they can meet eyes, but his eyes have gone hazy again and though Sammy knows Jack can see him, Jack’s stopped responding to him. “He – he was getting violent, and he snapped himself out of it. But now – I don’t know. I think he thinks he’s in the Void and we’re all – hallucinations.”

“ _Void_ ,” Jack whispers, curling in on himself slightly, and he looks over at Ben and Emily more than a little distrustfully. “You’re not real. You’re not real people – please, I just want it to be dark again, I’d rather it was dark.”

Sammy reaches out a hand, but Jack flinches the second he puts it on the back of his neck, and Sammy pulls away, a pang of heartsickness in his chest.

Jack should be able to know if Sammy’s real – Sammy should be able, somehow, to prove he’s real. Jack screaming, that’s something Sammy can handle, that’s something he can stop. But Jack not believing that Sammy’s a real person, Sammy doesn’t know how to handle that.

It had been like this when Jack woke up at the hospital, but Sammy thought they’d moved past it, that Jack was at least getting a little better – but now it was back again. Sammy hadn’t chased it away like he was meant to.

“Did you tell him about today?” Ben asks in a small voice and Sammy nods miserably. Ben creeps closer to the bed, comes to sit next to Sammy, his eyes careful on Jack but not getting closer. Sammy’s the only one who can stay in bed with Jack – not that he’d ever let anyone else – but Jack doesn’t respond to anyone else, at least not right away.

Lily had tried, but Lily can’t stand seeing her brother like this – not that Sammy stands it very well either, but Lily has no patience with the best case scenarios, let alone Jack barely holding on to sanity most nights. She’ll come as back-up if Sammy needs someone, but she’s just as liable to scream at Jack as she is to comfort him.

Sammy doesn’t blame her – it’s how she and Jack have always dealt with problems, a constant streaming argument that’s gone on all their lives, and she can’t handle that this problem can’t be solved like all the other ones.

Sammy just misses his Jack – and he’s around, most of the time, when the sun’s the brightest and they’re with their friends and Jack holds his hand like he needs him, but in the dark hours it’s like Jack’s not there anymore.

“Can I try something?” Emily asks quietly from the doorway and Sammy almost jumps at the sound of her voice.

“Please,” Sammy says, staring at Jack’s hunched shoulders as he blinks at them like he can hear them talking but doesn’t know the language. “I don’t know what to do. At this point he’s usually back to normal and apologizing or he’s knocked me out.”

An awful laugh bubbles from his throat and he wants to cry. He feels Ben squeeze his elbow, but he can’t look at anyone right now. He should’ve been able to handle this on his own, he should be able to take care of Jack better than this.

Emily tiptoes into the room, eyes on Jack. She’s wearing the pink-striped raccoon pajama set that someone had gotten Ben as a gag gift for Christmas and Ben refuses to recognize exist. She looks slightly ridiculous, but her eyes are very soft as she crawls into the bed, moving to sit cross-legged in front of Jack.

Jack doesn’t even look at her. Sammy thinks he’s noticed that someone else is there, but his eyes are a million miles away and directed at a space over Emily’s shoulder. He’s wound tightly, though, and when Emily touches the side of his face gently, he flinches.

At least it’s not just Sammy’s touch he can’t stand.

“Hi Jack,” Emily says, voice soft and measured. “My name is Emily Potter. You might not remember me right now, but –”

“Not real,” Jack’s murmur is quiet but distinct. “Not real, not real, not real…”

“Hey,” Emily says, slightly sharper. “I _am_ real. I’m the most real person you’ve ever met. Don’t you ever call me not real again. Got it?”

Jack’s gaze shifts, and he meets her eye. He doesn’t respond, but he meets her eye.

“I’m your friend,” Emily’s voice returns to affectionate, and she takes both of Jack’s hand in her own and squeezes them. “And I want to help you. I know the world doesn’t seem like a real place, like it’s too bright and too dark all at once and you can’t tell what’s real from what’s imagined. I know that when you see things, sometimes it’s like it’s through dark-tinted windows covered in molasses, like everything is too dim and too slow and you can’t feel your body anymore let alone anyone else’s. So I need you to just listen to my voice, okay?”

Jack still doesn’t respond, but his breathing is a little heavier, which Sammy doesn’t know if that’s a good or bad thing. He looks at Ben, who just shrugs at him looking just as terrified as Sammy feels.

“Is it dark where you are?” Emily whispers. Sammy doesn’t know how she can think Jack will respond to a question when Jack can barely hear anything –

“Too dark,” Jack says, the words barely enunciated, but still there. “Everything’s too dark. Like everything’s a shadow. I hear your voice but it’s a shadow voice, like you’re a shadow person, like everything is just shadows everywhere all the time and they never stop, they never –”

“Shh,” Emily leans forward, securing her arms around Jack’s neck, and Sammy wants to tell her to move back just in case the violence starts again, but Emily moves even closer, pressing her forehead lightly against Jack’s.

Sammy holds his breath, but other than a tremor running through Jack’s body, he doesn’t react.

“I’m not a shadow, I’m a real person,” Emily says, voice barely a whisper. “I know it’s dark where you are, but it’s not dark where I am. So please, just follow the sound of my voice. Follow my voice and it will get lighter, the shadows will go away.”

She takes a deep breath, and plows forward. “My name is Emily Potter. Your name is Jack Wright. I’ve lived in King Falls all my life, but you’re from Pasadena, California. We both live here now. Your house is a three-minute drive from mine but I’m over here most nights of the week because we’re such good friends. We watch B-movies on Netflix and your favorites are the Sharknado movies – you call them cinematic masterpieces and Sammy says you’re an idiot. You know Sammy – he’s your fiancé, he loves you more than anything, and he’s right here next to you.”

Emily shifts slightly, her eyes going from Jack’s to Sammy’s. Sammy, barely thinking about it and heart in his throat, reaches over to squeeze Jack’s hand. It’s limp in his own, but he doesn’t lash out. He doesn’t respond at all other than in the sound of his labored breathing.

He realizes that Ben’s got a killer grip on his knee, and turns to see his best friend biting his lip so hard it’s turning white. He looks so nervous, Sammy quickly knocks their knees together to tell Ben that it’s all going to be okay.

“I don’t know where I am,” Jack whispers, voice scratchy, but Sammy and Ben both jump at the sound. Emily doesn’t, she just reaches a hand up to curl Jack’s hair behind his ear.

“You’re right here with us,” she says. “You _belong_ here with us. Not with the shadows. Not in the dark. But here in King Falls, with your friends.”

“I don’t –” Jack starts to shake, but Emily cuts him off with a steely voice.

“I’m here and I’m not supposed to be,” Emily says, her voice heavy with resolve and tears and a look at Ben tells Sammy that Ben’s about as close to tears as Emily is. “I’m not meant to be alive but I am. I wasn’t supposed to be here – I wasn’t supposed to be with Benny, or see Sammy again, or meet you, Jack. I wasn’t supposed to be here for any of this and I _am._ And you can be, too. You can follow the light and come home to us.”

She’s freely crying now, tears silently running down her face, and Sammy wants to reach out and tell her that it’s going to be okay, but he can’t, he’s transfixed and rooted to the spot.

“You deserve to be here, you deserve to _live_ ,” Emily’s voice doesn’t even shake. “We’re owed that. We’re owed a life, okay? So please, Jack, you’ve got to follow my voice and be here for that life. I know it’s scary and it hurts and you’re worried you’re going to wake up and none of it will be real. But we are real. We’re real and we want you here with us.”

They sit there in silence, Sammy doesn’t know for how long, with Emily crying and Ben shaking and Jack’s breathing slowly evening out. Sammy’s got a death grip on Jack’s hand the whole time.

Suddenly, Jack’s hand twitches.

“Emily?” Jack croaks, his eyes blinking blearily open, and Sammy wants to sob he’s so relieved. He can feel Ben deflate next to him. Emily grins at Jack, watery but real. “What – what’s going on?”

“Are you here?” Emily’s arms, still around Jack’s next, squeeze together to hug him. Jack’s free arm goes around Emily’s shoulder.

“Yeah, yeah,” Jack murmurs, hugging her back. “It’s okay, I – what happened? What –?”

He turns slightly, realizing that Sammy and Ben are there too, and his gaze goes all wide-eyed when he sees Sammy, and quickly lets go of Emily, his hand coming to rest on Sammy’s cheek where Sammy’s sure that purple swelling has started by now.

“Did I do that? I’m so sorry,” Jack says, looking broken up about it with blinking eyes and a quivering lip, and even though Jack has nothing to feel guilty over, Sammy’s so relieved that Jack has the capacity to feel guilty about it again, he could cry with relief.

“You’re here now,” Sammy says, reaching over to hug Jack for himself, remind himself that even when his fiancé disappears like that, he’s coming back eventually, his Jack always comes back to him in the end. “You’re here – God, that was one of the worst – I was so scared.”

“Well, I got out of it,” Jack whispers into Sammy’s shoulder when Sammy refuses to let go. “That’s what matters. Did I just hit you, or –?”

“It was like you were here but you weren’t – you knew we were here but didn’t know we were real,” Sammy says, and Jack nods against his shoulder with a shudder.

“Yeah, that’s….that’s what it felt like,” Jack says, voice tight, and Sammy won’t make him relive it anymore, not when Jack lived for five years in a literal waking nightmare, he doesn’t need to keep reliving it when he’s awake. “Thanks for snapping me out of it.”

“That was all Emily,” Sammy says, letting Jack go and gesturing toward Emily, who had curled her knees up to her chest, the tears on her face drying as she smiled gently over at Jack.

“How’d you know how to do all that?” Ben asks, his voice full of wonder and a little apprehension. “It’s like you knew just what to say.”

Emily shrugs, not looking at any of them. “I just thought about – about what it was like for me. When I had nightmares….afterwards. It wasn’t anywhere nearly as horrible for me, but I just thought about what I would’ve needed someone to say to me then. And I was dreaming about hot white light, so the idea of darkness helped me a lot. But with Jack I knew it wouldn’t so I – I just wanted him to focus on auditory sensations and not visual ones. I read this book about trauma patients–”

She breaks off uncomfortably, sounding choked up again and curling in one herself as Ben reaches over to squeeze her hand. But it’s Jack who moves to hug her, and she curls against his chest with a little sob like she can’t hold it back anymore.

“Maybe you should stay with Jack,” Sammy says through a thick voice. “At least for tonight, just in case that – that happens again.”

“No,” both Jack and Emily say at the same time, Jack with a panicked look toward Sammy and Emily with soft and knowing eyes on his own.

“I mean, Emily can stay,” Jack says, and he hasn’t let go of Emily yet but his eyes are almost wild on Sammy’s own. “But please don’t go, I’m so sorry I hit you, and I’ll try not to again, but – but please. Don’t go.”

Sammy’s heart breaks a little, and he wants to try to explain to Jack that it’s not him, Sammy always wants to be with Jack no matter where he is in his head, that he wants to be the one to bring Jack back to earth but he just doesn’t know _how._ He wants Jack to be okay but he’s failed him so often in the past, and this is just another failure.

“Let’s all stay here tonight,” Emily decides, a look in her eye that says no one can argue with her. “Like a slumber party. Maybe – maybe all of us here will help – help the next time.”

Her grip on Jack grows tighter, more protective.

Sammy nods, turning to Ben, who’s oddly quiet. But Ben nods too, and he shares a look with Sammy of bone-tired sadness, and Sammy’s struck with the realization that Ben feels just like he does – helpless, hopeless, worthless, because Emily’s suffered too and Ben never got to help her in the way that she’s helping Jack.

Sammy puts an arm around Ben’s shoulder, squeezing tightly. “Alright. Don’t know if this bed is big enough for four, but Ben can always sleep like a dog at the end of the bed since he’s –”

“Yes, so short, ha ha, you’re so clever and witty and original,” Ben rolls his eyes at Sammy and Sammy laughs at him, weak but present. “I’m sleeping on top of you as my revenge for that comment.”

“Ugh, you snore,” Sammy says, half-teasing and ready with an eye-roll, but Ben looks small and insecure right now and Sammy wants to make him feel better. “It’s so annoying.”

“You’re annoyed that I’m _breathing_?” Ben asks in his more ordinary jesting, banter that draws a sharp contrast to the rest of the night. “Would you rather I just not breathe?”

“Yup,” Sammy says with a deadpan voice and Ben shoves at his shoulder.

“You’d be distraught if he stopped breathing,” Emily says with a small smile in Sammy’s direction, and Sammy just rolls his eyes, since all of them know perfectly well that Sammy would survive about five minutes without Ben.

 “Are you really –” Sammy starts as Ben pushes him backward to lie down, crawling onto his chest. “Is this really necessary?”

“You’re so cute,” Emily looks down at him with a sympathetic grin, and Sammy feels for her in her reality of Ben Arnold, Human Octopus constantly occupying her sleeping space. She turns back to Jack and says “Pressure. Pressure helps, right? Maybe I should sleep on top of you, too.”

“Yeah, yeah – I think that would help,” Jack says, a grimace twisting on his face as he looks down at Sammy, and Sammy almost kicks Ben off of him, but Jack looks relaxed again when Emily pushes him down and curls up against his chest as well.

“This is weird,” Sammy feels the need to comment and both Ben and Jack shush him.

“It’s not weird,” Emily says, reaching over to pat Sammy’s cheek, the one that isn’t bruised. “We’re all helping each other out. We all want Jack to be alright and stay here with us. We can help you get some sleep, Sammy. And….and I think this might help me, too. I’m not exactly over everything that happened to me either.”

 Emily presses up even closer to Jack and Jack’s hand reaches up to stroke her hair.

“I’m sorry,” Ben says suddenly. He’s facing away from Emily, and his words are half-spoken into Sammy’s neck, but his voice is genuine. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you before, Emily.”

“You’re here now, Benny,” Emily says softly. “You’re here now – we’re _all_ here now – and that’s what matters. We’re all together.”

The room is quiet – blazing with light, because Sammy would never turn the lights off – but very quiet for a long time, until Ben shifts positions and elbows Sammy in the stomach.

“Ow,” Sammy nudges Ben. “If I’m letting you sleep here the least you can do is not injure me.”

“Boo friggin’ hoo,” Ben mutters, voice heavy with almost-sleep. “I’m a delight to sleep with.”

“Don’t make it sexual,” Sammy squeezes his eyes shut, embarrassed, and Ben snorts.

“You’re the one who took it there,” Ben says, voice somehow mocking even though he’s seconds from falling asleep. “Also, your breath smells.”

“Will you shut up –” Sammy starts, but Emily cuts him off.

“Yes, please shut up, I think Jack’s asleep,” she whispers, and both Ben and Sammy immediately go quiet and swivel their heads to see Jack, mouth half open and eyelids twitching slightly, his breaths calm and even.

Sammy smiles at Emily, who looks close to sleep herself but smiles back nonetheless, quiet and gentle, and Sammy reaches out to find his fiancé’s wrist to feel his pulse, quiet and steady. That’s all Sammy needs to fall asleep.

* * *

 

The sun wakes Sammy up instead of screaming.

He blinks himself awake, feeling almost unnatural, and maybe like his whole life is dream. If there’s no screaming, is Jack gone? Did he disappear again? Has something –?

He feels pressure on top of his chest, and blinks down at Ben, who’s half-fallen off of him in the night, but still somehow drooling on his shirt.

He remembers the night before, feels the aching of the bruise on his cheek, and turns to see Emily and Jack, both still fast asleep, Emily’s head pressed just beneath Jack’s as they breathe together.

Sammy has moments of peace – of feeling blessed and lucky and extraordinary to exist in the world with Jack peacefully asleep and Emily safe and secure and Ben being an annoying little shit even though he isn't even conscious.

Then Jack’s eyelids start to twitch, the shaking starts, and Sammy quickly pushes Ben to the side to get a hold of Jack’s head, hold him in his hands and pull his hair away from his face, run his hands across the corners of Jack’s eyes as he wakes up.

He feels Emily stir beneath him, but he doesn’t have time to consider that right now because he’s whispering to Jack “Hey, hey, it’s morning, it’s bright outside. You slept until the sun came up. You did it. It’s bright and Emily’s here and Ben’s here and it’s all okay, okay? You made it through the night.”

Jack blinks and he’s hazy, and God, Sammy doesn’t know if he can do this again but then Jack’s vision suddenly clears up and his hands are on Sammy’s own as they cup his cheeks.

“Oh,” Jack says, voice scratchy but present and very _Jack_ , and Sammy almost sobs. “It’s nice. We should do that more often.”

“What, have a sleepover?” Emily asks in a bleary voice as she pulls herself off of Jack, cracking her back as she stretches. She moves into Sammy’s spot of the bed to shake Ben awake, who’s still out like a light. After years of insomnia, Ben was finally sleeping through the night, too, and sometimes it was near-impossible to wake up him.

Maybe they were all healing together, Sammy thought for half a second as he presses his lips to Jack’s, just for half a second, just a good morning kiss and a reminder that Jack was there, was his, would always be his.

“Did you really make it through the night with Ben on top of you?” Jack asks with a laugh as Ben murmurs something incoherent, Emily laughing at him as she pokes and prods at him to get up.

“Well, he’s tiny, so I wasn’t getting on top of him,” Sammy half-laughs and Jack joins in, a little weak, but so incredibly better than most every other morning. “Em was on top of you all night, so –”

“Yeah, but Em is a considerate sleeper,” Jack says, craning his neck to see Emily, who grins down at him.

“Aw, thanks,” Emily says with fondness. “And you’re right, Ben is very inconsiderate.  Unless you want him suctioned to you like an octopus, you only have a couple inches of space to yourself.”

“I’m a delight,” Ben says, still curled up on the pillow that Sammy deposited him on, eyes not open yet. “I’m a very affectionate octopus. I’ll sleep on top you next, Jack, so you can see what I’m talking about.”

“I look forward to it,” Jack says, and Sammy can tell Jack’s not being sarcastic even if it might sound like that. He grins over at his fiance, and Jack reaches up to stroke Sammy’s cheek.

“I’ll go get the cream from the medicine cabinet,” Jack says, his voice apologetic and guilty. “I’m so –”

“I don’t care,” Sammy tells him. “You’re here. Don’t move. Don’t – don’t go again, alright?”

Jack nods, knowing that Sammy means it in more than one way, and Sammy collapses back onto the bed and doesn’t move for hours, just letting conversation between the three pillars in his life wash over him, focusing on the sound of Jack’s voice, his breathing, trying to make sure that when night fell again, he’d know what to say about their day this time, that it was happy and full of light and love and their best friends. If Jack disappeared again, Sammy could remind him that there was so much good to come back to.


End file.
